Tag: story

My Moody Monday Story ❤

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I just want to present this little GIF for you guys just in case you needed that little extra umph of INNER STRONG WOMAN SHIT today. Cause I sure do.

Soooo….I basically got bullied today in CVS for no apparent reason by this older man who felt the need to cut a bitch in line. I repeat CUT A BITCH IN LINE. Who would do that to a tiny little Asian girl who is literally buying one tube of Crest breathstrips toothpaste. It’s not like I was buying 80 boxes of Maybelline people. The cashier kindly told him that I was in line waiting and he straight up pretended like he didn’t hear her and continued to insert himself in between me and the register. Part of me thinks this dude thought to himself oh! this….small…woman… won’t say anything to me…strong…man (grumphhhdi caveman noise!) !

The cashier proceeded to remind him again that “sir, she’s waiting in line.” He pretended to not hear again. After a few moments of utter silence, the man faked a big old fake sigh and a big old fake eyeroll. What’s with the DRAMA DUDE? He kind of waffled back and forth on both feet trying to decide whether he was going to continue this injustice and then out of nowhere pulled this little random nugget out…”Well, she was doodling on her phone.” and mocked me “doodling on my phone” tapping imaginary air buttons. Say what now? When is scrolling through Insta in the CVS line a crime people? Is it bad? Is it a social no no? If it is, then I will seek this man out and apologize and it will absolutely go something like this…”Dir sir, Sorry that I want to look at pics of funny animals while I buy my tooth products. I will never inconvenience you like that again. From, Lowly sorrowful woman

Well my girls were on my side. The cashier was like oh hell no, he didn’t. The woman in front of me with her newborn baby (who was probably but most likely a girl) were both like Oh HELL no he didn’t.  The baby even woke up from a nap and was like “Sista please.”

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In that moment, I decided I had to stick up for myself and say something to shut this shit down. And I did guys. Oh did I. It came out a little awkward and certainly wasn’t speech of the year but I felt like a strong woman on the inside and out and that’s all that counts. Plus the woman with the overly involved baby gave me her scroll of coupons for $2 off my toothpaste so karma does count people. It can get you inner strength and discounts on fresh breath products.

xo, Ally

Giphs courtesy of giphy.com

What I Learned Today From a Model


Today I sat next to a model in hot yoga. She walked in with her perfect top knot, BPA free water bottle and the most gorgeously wonderful Bambi legs in existence and every girl’s face instantly froze like,

“Bitch, please please pleaseee don’t sit next to me. Please. PLEASE!!”

Then they look up to the heavens and apologize for the bagel they had for breakfast. No more carbs after today. Tomorrow’s the day. Officially. I always start diets on Mondays.

Of course the model (let’s call her Top Knot Tammy) lays out her mat right next to mine. All the girls relax. I die inside.

Even her damn mat is skinnier than mine. My mat curdles in shame. Slowly I morph into the downest of dogs (so cheesy, but really this is what I thought. You try being me.)

Excuse me Top Knot-T, hunny, Ms. Independent? GO AWAY. I come here to help my anxiety not give me an additional Bambi leg complex. Trust me, I’ve already got complexes on complexes. I came her to learn the facets of deep breathing, not deep loathing.

Tammy girl, has the Taylor Swift body mixed with the exoticness of one of those brunette VS models. She was Beyonce booty with the effortlessness of Kendall Jenner walking through Coachella in that long jean shorts and vest look. She just sorta waltzes by.


Let me compare it in another way.

I’m 5’1.

She’s 5’11.

She has Bambi legs.

I have Bambi’s sadness.

She’s a model.

I am not (do selfies count?).

Today after yoga, I went and got the biggest, fattiest, chocolate muffin I’ve ever bought in my life. Like I literally thought of the idea in Chavasana (buying a big and fatty chocolate muffin) and then I did it ($3.50 at Whole Foods). I didn’t give a fuuuuu.

Because sometimes you just have to indulge and not give a crap that there’s a supermodel next to you. You gotta face the facts that there are supermodels in life and they are there to tear you down. Pastry companies actually build them and send them out into the world just so muffin prices will rise. But YOU gotta rise up girl, you gotta RISE UP LIKE PASTRY DOUGH.


You gotta realize that Bambi probably never eats chocolate muffins after yoga, but then again she probably does. Because only DNA mixed with model girl genes could possibly shape her legs like that.

So watch out Bambi legs, because yes, I am jealous of you and yes you are enough to make me go I kissed a girl and I liked it, and yes you probably live that jet setting Saudi Princes buying you gold watches, exotic puppies, love, affection, 10 ft. yachts and wait….what was I talking about?

Make me a Meowdel,


[pullquote width=”300″ float=”left”]We can all learn a thing or two from models! – A. Maki[/pullquote]


A List of Things I Bought When I Was 14!


Today I saw a girl at the crosswalk with a few of her Lorde type friends. (Is it weird to be in your mid 20s sitting at the crosswalk daydreaming about being part of their teenage crew?) They would’ve been any sort of ordinary teenage girls if I hadn’t noticed one simple little detail. They were carrying multiple shopping bags from Lululemon.

It all seems innocent enough, but it got me to thinking. Tweens these days are fancy as hell. To this day I go into Lululemon acting like I’m going to buy a variety of items and then after turning the price tag on a pair of $120 stretchy pants I instantly fake an important phone call and get the hell out of dodge before I see the disgusted look on the shopgirl’s face. “Ah, darnit sorry they just don’t have the size I need in the style I want, but I’m definitely going to order it online.”

And here these girls half my age are with their iPhones and their bags of Lululemons dropping cash for overpriced workout gear like it’s nothing. When I was their age I felt guilty about buying leggings from Forever 21 for $9.95 plus tax.

Here are some other things I bought when I was 14.

♥ Plastic binders with the different pockets to put pictures (that you would have to actually print out at Kinko’s) to make funky collages displaying your coolest of “friends”. “Um, yeah Penelope and I hang out all the TIME. That’s why she’s on the front of my binder, duh.”

♥ Random things from Claire’s. Mittens with only half the finger covered up to the knuckle. So cool. Blingin’ bellybutton rings. Earrings that gave me nasty infections.

♥ $2 lipglosses that tasted like plastic and had names like “peachy plastic” and “tastes like shit but looks glossy as HELL!

♥ Melon gum

♥ Saving stamps up on my Sanrio card to get some sweet Hello Kitty jewelry case

The most expensive thing I think I ever convinced my mom I “needed” was a Sidekick. It didn’t have service, it was only for games and messaging. SWEET. I blinged that shit out myself for four painstaking hours on my bedroom floor with alternating pink and clear rhinestones.

So in short, I understand that these girls are way more fancy than I am now or probably will ever be. It’s just a fact. As much as I wonder if I would be cooler if I grew up in this tech savvy, Instagram infested culture that is defined by “tweens” these days, I don’t know if realistically I would’ve been able to handle it. I liked looking in the mirror everyday as my 14 year old self, with braces and bad wispy bangs and just see me. That was all I knew. What we don’t know won’t kill us right. Cause trust me, I had no clue how bad it was.

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So thank you to the 15 year olds of 2015 who teach me so much! You guys rock.

Whew I’m lame.

I Don’t Think You’re Ready For This Jelly,


[pullquote width=”300″ float=”left”]“My definition of a Lululemon: a teenage girl who makes you lose all dignity and instantly humbles you to your very core!”[/pullquote]

The Happenstance of My Wonder Rescue Dog


This is the story of a four year old four-legged creature who happened upon me this year in the most wonderful way. His name is Jesse, a firecracker of a boy. He’s half Tibetan terrier mixed with Lhasa Apso, two breeds I had never even heard before. Blended together they made my marvelous little piece of wonder bread.

I’ll start from the beginning. I was perusing on Facebook one night going through my feed, when I came across a picture one of my friends had posted with two adorable little puppies. The caption said “Fostering these little guys for a bit.” I was immediately intrigued. My first beautiful dog, Yorkie Coco who I got when I was 17 lived with my mom who Coco was totally obsessed with. I think from the beginning they were soul sisters. Both strong independent women. I remember even from the moment we picked her from a litter of three, my mom had this wonderful love and connection with Coco. They were the strength that I wasn’t yet.

I immediately messaged my friend and got info on the organization he was fostering through called Wags and Walks. The work they were doing was awesome. It pulled on my heartstrings just the right amount; I wanted to be involved in some way.

I wrote them an email that night signing up for their foster program. I thought, what the hell, if I can provide a temporary home for even one dog, potentially saving his/her life I will have done something good for someone other than myself. I was pumped.


And another. I figured maybe they didn’t need anymore help. Maybe they didn’t like the spontaneity of an actress’ schedule.

That following Sunday I planned to have a lazy day. I woke up late, made some coffee and turned the TV on in my sweatpants and 2 day old hair. I checked my email.


“Hi Ally. Got your foster app. Know this is last minute but we are having an adoption event today until 2 can you make it?” -Wags and Walks

Immediately, I thought no freaking way. I’m not driving all the way across town on a Sunday to get there before 2. It’s already 12:30!

Little did I know, an elderly couple across town would be coming to terms with potentially one of the hardest decisions they would have to make in their life. A sweet man would be packing up a box tearfully, his frail wife saying goodbye. A tail wagging with those “lets go somewhere!” eyes.

To this day, I still don’t understand and will probably never know why I decided to throw my pajamas off, throw a baseball cap on and drive to the adoption event. It’s not so crazy a thing I know, but it was definitely out of character for me.

When I got there, everything went pretty quick. I met one of the friendly volunteers for the org and I told her I wasn’t necessarily looking to jump into anything but if there ever was an easier dog (for beginners) I could ease my way into helping out more. She nodded and said that she wanted to introduce me to someone. He had literally been dropped off 45 minutes before I got there.

“This is Jesse.”

I turned to see this shy little grey ball of fur sitting by himself on the sidewalk.


His eyes had a certain sadness about them. They said they needed to find someone to foster him for a few days or he would have to go to a kennel and from there who knows where he would end up. I called his name.


He immediately came over and rubbed his butt against me like a cat (a trait that he is now known for). I laughed. What a funny dude! I took a seat right there in the middle of the sidewalk. He plopped right down next to me and laid his fluffy chin right on my leg. I had never felt more bonded to another living creature before in my life.

The rest is somewhat of a blur, I found myself signing some foster papers to watch him for a week, which turned into two, which turned into the decision to make him a permanent member of the family. From day one, he fit in so perfectly, like he was always meant to be there, like the last puzzle piece.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetOn November 20, 2014 Jesse’s adoption was made official. It was an amazing day. We bought him a little American Apparel hoodie to celebrate. I could tell in Jesse’s eyes he knew what was going on and was happy.


About three weeks later, my grandma passed away. The greatest lady and pillar of strength in my life. I still can’t even think about it without losing it. Although she lived a long life of 90 years, death is something no one can ever really be prepared for and deal with normally. I sure couldn’t. In the days before and after her death, Jesse suited up and truly became my therapy dog. We grieved together.

It’s so cool to me to think that four years ago, this little guy was born somewhere out there in this great big world. I think back to where I was in my journey….Who would have ever thought the two of us would’ve ended up together? Life is a funny thing. Every day now I look up to the heavens and can’t help but think my grandma sent him to me. She knew his little fur face and wild spirit would continue to teach me things about myself long after she was gone.

That’s what pets do. They give life and unconditional love;  they teach you things about yourself you never knew.

Thanks Jesse for being my wild boy.


 Wildin’ Out With My Wonder Pup,